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  • Connect to Disconnect – benefits of a digit detox
    Connect to Disconnect – benefits of a digital detox What’s the first thing you do when you’re standing in a queue at the checkout line? Or when you’re waiting for someone to arrive for a meeting? Without even realising it, checking our phones has become a reflex action. It’s almost as automatic as a bathroom break for most. While we cannot deny that technology has made our lives easier in so many ways, it’s can also distract us from what’s important I’m our lives. So when I speak of digital detox, I’m in no way suggesting that you give up all technology for weeks at a time, but there are simpler tweaks you can make. You can start by making small […]
  • Mindful Eating – nourishing your body with intent
    Mindful Eating – nourishing your body with intent One of my favourite things about travelling is experiencing new culinary adventures. My least favourite part – returning home a few kilograms heavier (thanks to aforementioned culinary adventures). Although I don’t obsess about my weight or have a goal-weight I like to fit into my clothes. Add to that many risk factors of excess weight – no I’ve never been obese, but I do tend to pile on weight in the wrong places (which put one at risk for many lifestyle diseases).   I don’t believe in diets or quick-fixes. At the same time I LOVE FOOD so I will not deprive myself of what I love either. However, on my holidays […]
  • From FOMO to JOMO
    ~ the joy of missing out! It started out as a trendy term to use, but deep down FOMO (the fear of missing out) really stems from a lack of self-esteem, desire to fit in and not embracing one’s uniqueness. What surprises me is that adults seem to be falling victim to FOMO as just as much as teenagers. Even with teenagers, one can understand that they are still forming their identity; so we would expect adults to have a better sense of who they are. And we have to bear in mind that our kids are learning through observing our behaviour. We are their first roles models – so what are we teaching them? Examples of FOMO in daily […]
  • Back to School Parenting Tips
    ~ tips for healthy, happy children this new year and beyond! Since it’s ‘back-to-school’ week’ here are some parenting tips to ensure you are raising emotionally healthy, well-balanced children: 1.    Create a Routine Some structure and routine is necessary for everyone in the family to feel calmer, know what happens when, who does what and what’s expected of them. Examples include: time for waking up and getting ready, breakfast, time to leave for school, what the kids responsibilities are for packing their bags, emptying out lunchpacks, chores, dinner time, homework time, bedtime, etc. 2.    Learn to Say ‘NO’ sometimes It’s important for children to learn from a young age that they cannot always get what they want, when they want […]
  • New Year, New Boundaries
    ~ self-respect begins with healthy boundaries Healthy boundaries are necessary for healthy relationships. We cannot control the actions of others, but we can set limits that prevent their actions from impacting on us negatively. How do you know that your boundaries need to be reassessed? You say ‘yes’ when you really want to say ‘no’. You feel that others take advantage of your good nature. You feel drained by other people. You feel overwhelmed by others who seem to need you. You have less time for yourself because you spend more time doing things for others. You please others to keep the peace. You take on more than you would like to. Feeling guilty when you say ‘no’ to someone. […]
  • 11 LESSONS I’VE LEARNED FROM 11 YEARS OF MARRIAGE
    On my 11th wedding anniversary, I’ve decided to share 11 tips for a healthy marriage that has worked for me & many couples that I’ve seen for marital therapy…   1.    Me-Time vs We Time Happy couples often maintain a healthy balance between solitary and joint activities. Time apart is healthy and helps achieve a sense of independence so you do not lose yourself in the marriage – it also gives you more to talk about. It’s unhealthy for couples to do everything together. Having said that, both partners need to be satisfied with the amount of quality time spent together (watching TV does not count) and the activities engaged in during this time. 2.    Compliment more than you Criticise […]
  • THE FIVE GIFTS WE OWE OURSELVES THIS FESTIVE SEASON
    It’s the most wonderful time of the year…or is it? I find holidays stressful for many reasons and particularly at this time of year I usually get stressed about finding the perfect gifts. I have a slightly obsessive compulsive personality so I really work myself up about gifts being perfect for each recipient and the wrapping being exquisite (which I’m sure most don’t even notice). However, with 2017 having been a stressful year with many demands placed on me from all sides, I decided that it’s about time I prioritised myself in my gift-giving. If gift-giving is my language of love, surely I should love myself first. I encourage you to also think about the gifts you owe to yourself. […]
  • Adult Peer Pressure
    If you thought that peer pressure ended in high school, think again. While we can understand peer pressure in adolescents as they are still forming their identities, a sadder reality is adults falling prey to peer pressures. While one would expect adults in their thirties and forties to be more confident about themselves, many still give in to peer pressure to fit in. As a therapist who deals with adults and teenagers, I surprisingly see more adults who have succumbed to peer pressure. Some examples of peer pressure in adults is: Being coerced by friends to drink alcohol or experiment with other substances. Buying material possessions such as cars, designer clothing & accessories either just because you want to fit […]
  • Me, Myself & Anxiety
    I’ve had several requests to write about coping with anxiety, and as the title of thus post may suggest, these tips are not just based on my clinical training and professional experience, but also from personal experience. Although my calm exterior makes it difficult for most to believe, I’ve suffered from anxiety and panic attacks since my school days. Thankfully, I’ve come a long way from breathing into brown paper bags. The tips below are based on what has worked for me, combined with my clinical knowledge and experience. It does not mean that I don’t feel anxious anymore…I do! I just know how to identify it quicker and intervene before it impacts negatively on my life.   Being a […]
  • ARE YOU BEING BULLIED AT WORK?
    The word ‘bullying’ often conjures up images of schoolchildren being bullied by teasing, isolation and physical fights. While bullying in schools is spoken about frequently, bullying by adults (often in the workplace) isn’t spoken about as frequently as it occurs. After a recent radio show on bullying in the workplace, I’ve been inundated with calls and messages to spread more awareness. My main aim in this post is to help victims cope with the trauma they have experienced and at the end of the article, I offer practical tips and advice on what to do if you are being bullied at work.   What is Bullying? The obvious type of bullying that we are aware of is physical intimidation and […]
  • When a Loved One has a Mental Illness
    A strong support system is one of the most important protective factors for those with mental illnesses such as depression. Knowing that someone genuinely cares can make the dark, gloomy place at least a little brighter. However, most people don’t know what to say to someone with a mental illness. For starters, here’s what NOT to say: “Cheer up” “Think positive.” “You have so much to be grateful for.” “What do you have to be depressed for?” Even though you may have the best intentions, such statements may increase feelings of guilt and send the message that you don’t understand. Often someone with a mental illness wants to know that they are not alone. Saying that you are there is […]
  • Till Facebook Do Us Part
    Is technology creating a rift in your marriage? While technology and social media have been great at helping us connect with those far away from us, sadly, they often distance us from those that are closest. There’s no denying that technology is an integral part of our lives, but sometimes not setting appropriate boundaries and priorities can damage relationships. It’s very rare that I see a couple for therapy without social media or the use of smartphones being brought up as a vital issue. In fact, one of the most common ways that a spouse’s infidelity is discovered these days, is via instant messaging. While many couples blame social media for the breakdown in their marriages, it is important to […]
  • The Side-Effects of BUSY
    The current year has been my busiest yet. I’ve functioned like a hamster on a wheel…there was no time to stop to think…I just kept going. Until one day, not too long ago, an acquaintance asked me a question – a question we’re all asked every day; only this time it was different. The question was ‘HOW ARE YOU?’. The difference was that this person asked in a tone of compassion (realising my elevated stress levels – mainly stress about other people). This person listened for an answer. I answered honestly because I knew I was being listened to, but I continued to think about this question long after this brief conversation was over. I hadn’t had time to think […]
  • The 7 Ps of Parenting
    Raising Emotionally Healthy Children I always try to make things easy to remember, hence packaging my parenting tips as the ‘Seven Ps of Parenting’. The first P is one that you’re unlikely to find in any parenting handbook, yet one that I find crucial to effective parenting; and that is PUT YOURSELF FIRST. It sounds counter-intuitive because as parents we are meant to be selfless and self-sacrificing. The truth is, if you are not physically and emotionally healthy, then you are not able to be as effective in your parenting. Putting everyone else before you and trying to juggle several responsibilities can lead to lifestyle diseases and burnout. And think about it for a moment – if you had to […]
  • What’s in Your Bag?
    During a recent trip to Europe I experienced the most excruciating pain that I’ve ever known. My face may not have shown it – but it was the type of pain that keeps one up at night, pacing about because no medication or treatment helped. But I’ve gotten to a stage in my life where instead of moping about difficulties, I try to find meaning. Whether I found it, or created it, it inspired this article – because one of the major contributing factors to my pain was my HANDBAG – my constant companion, which has over time become an extension of myself.  I’m like a modern day Mary Poppins…my bag has everything i might need on any given day. […]